So yeah, its been a few days since i told you guys anything but here it goes.

About 3 weeks ago my mom finally moved out of the house, leaving only harrison and I. Its been tough since i didnt know what was gonna happen. so i had a talk with harrison and he offered me a $75/ week rent. Well I couldnt afford it so i moved in with my dad's place. Ive been here since last night and its been hard...really hard. I feel like crap right now and i know its from adjusting to a new environment, but i dont know if i like this place very much. I feel very hostile here and I just feel like theres nothing good for me here. Everything is changing in my life, for the better. I feel like im at boot camp or something.  Anyway, sorry that this post is really short, but i just needed to get this off my back.

yep, after a long and thoughtful process ive decided im gonna move to pittsburgh. Ive applied to a few jobs at Pittsburg International Airport and im awaiting responces from them. Hopefully Ill get the job and Ill be able to move out :3 I LOVE pittsburgh, and Ive wanted to move out for a while now, so im super excited.

My plan is to withdraw from school for a few years, and just try and get myself comfortable. Ive had a horrible past 2 years when i tried to get back into school. I want to make myself happy and feel comfortable for when I do go back to school. And When i do, I plan to go to a college that offers video production as a major.

So yeah, After talking a bit with kristy, ive come to 2 conclusions that im gonna have to figure out. I can either 1) Go to a different college to major in Creative writing, or something that will help me better my creative writing skills. Ive always liked writing stories and just making shit off the top of my head, maybe be a comedy writer for a late night show or be a script writer. or 2) Take a short break from college, spring and summer semesters, to focus solely on making myself better physically and mentally, all while trying to save up for an apartment.

So yeah......either or. I dont hate harrisburg University, but i just dont feel comfortable there. Its a good school and I do feel like i should give it another opertunity, but its just not for me. I need to go somewhere where I can keep my job and school seperate, where I can focus on only one. Ill try to keep you guys updated on whats gonna happen, but we shall see.

Wow I really need to shut my mouth when im talking to my mom. I just told her what Im thinking about doing school and education wise, and pretty much she said, "Pass and stay in school or im kicking you out." so yeah......Life sucks right now >

Hey guys, I apologize that I havnt posted in a while. Ive had alot of things going on at once the past few months and really its been a crazy ride. I had a job at Hershey Park, but had to quit due to lack of hours. I am going back to school at Harrisburg University, but ill talk more about that later. I also got a new job at a Jimmy John's Sandwich shop, which i do like. Ive got a wonderful and lovely girlfriend, Kristy who i Love very much. And my dad had to go into chemotherapy for his multiple Myloma(sp). So as you can see, its been a very hectic past few months.

My dad told us he had his cancer sometime in the spring and we were shocked to tell the truth, hes a very healthy individual and he does keep himself in shape. However, Cancer can strike anyone for no good reason. He had Multiple Myloma, basicly he had a few cancer cells on his spine that caused pain when bent over. Its uncommon, but curable and treatable. A few weeks ago he went to the hospital and started his chemtherapy and had stem cells incerted into his back to replace all the spinal cells that he had lost due to the chemo. He was out of the hospital for a week before he caught an infection and had to be rushed back to the hospital. Hes doing fine now and he did lose all his hair, but he keeps a great attitude and even he pokes fun at it. I love my dad for this, cause it just seems like a family trait to make something funny come out of a tragic event.

Another thing thats been really bothering me lately is College. I just dont think i can do it anymore, or really capable of going to school. for the past 4 years Ive been in and out of school for various reasons. Financial Aid, lack of credits, failning grades, and not being able to balance work and school have all led me to having a rough time. I first attended college back in 2006 at Harrisburg University, going for a CISC course lineup, which ment a bachelors of Science degree in Computer Science. After a year I had to withdraw due to my credits and financial aid not being in line with eachother. Basicly I wasnt earning enough credits to earn a full time student grant or loan, so I had to withdraw because I couldnt afford a private loan. After a few months of trying to figure out what to do next, I went over to HACC and tried to get an associates degreee in Culinary Arts. However that fell through since I had to pay for my equimpent and couldnt afford it. So i stayed at hacc, but kept myself at a General Education. However that Fell through when I realized my grades slowly went into the failing zone, though granted i did not get great grades in HU either. So I withdrew from HACC and decided to go back to HU to finish my degree, which is where I am now.

And i have come to a conclusion, im just not cut out for the college life. Ive tried to keep myself focused on school every time I go back. However I just cant keep a straight head and I either lose focus or I just cant get interested in the material. I always either get bored or I get caught up in other thigns and forget to do some school work. Ive always went to school while at my parents house, and while It has saved me money, I just cant focus or get past the family problems and stay straight on school. Ive tried getting help at both HACC and Harrisburg University, but those have all failed and I have done the best I can do at both universities. I was just never ment for school as it seems. I can keep a straight head and focus more on work then on school. I mean, the only reason WHY I am going to school now is to keep my mom happy and maybe learn things about video Editing.

And this is where I say, Im seriously thinking about withdrawing from Harrisburg University. Let me just say this. I do not hate the school, I love it and I do think it is a great college, but it just isnt ment for me. No college really is. And Im constantly getting tired of hearing on how low my grades are and how i need to focus. Ive gotten help from everyone that I asked and could have asked, and its not helping me. I appreaciate all the hard work everyone has put into helping me get through college, but I must ultamitely say that I just cant do school.

I am going to try and finish this semester off, all the while thinking about what I am going to do with my life int he upcomming months. I do have a few plans though.

first off, im gonna start teaching myself video editing programs. Ive always wanted to learn how to edit movies and Ive had to do some eediting with some very basic movie editors such as Windows Movie Maker for my philosophy class, but ive always wanted to do more with my videos, add more special effects and just try to do more overall. Iwant to learn Sony Vegas, and learn what other programs professional editors use.

My second goal is to learn a different language. Ive always wanted to try and learn a different language. My first attempt was latin, but guess how far that got me. So now I want to try and learn Japanese. Its always been an interesting culture and language to me because it just sounds so complicated and exciting. Also because I do want to take a trip sometime in my lifetime, and Figured learning the language would help me get there a bit easier.

Third: I wish to clean myself up. Stress from school and trying to find a job has taken a toll on me. I feel like crap and Ive just felt like ive gotten sicker and unhealthy. Ive actually gained 20lbs since I started school last semester and Ive just felt less energetic and been tired alot more then before. So im gonna go on a 1200 calorie diet that kristy and I are gonna go through. Im also gonna invest in a Bike so I dont waste gas AND get some exercise.

Anyway, I just thought you guys should know whats on my mind and why I havnt been updating lately

Alright, well sorry i havnt posted in a long time everyone. Things have been really picking up for me the past few weeks and overall its been a mix of good and bad.

Lets start off with the good news though. Im doing alright in school. Some classes have been hard and really i feel like I wanna quit, but I am not going to. I enjoy the new place and really it feels like its actually a college now, not just a classroom above a train station or a mall. Ive got English composition, Speech, and Discrete Mathematics. English and speech are a bitch because, well, lets face it, its english and speech. Discrete math is REALLY EFFING HARD! Its one of the only types of math where it goes in circles and yet doesnt make any sence but still makes sense. I know, its confusing, but thats how it really is. Plus, next semester I get to start on classes that actually focus on my major and Ill be able to learn how to do more video production and artform :3. So that means i can finally start on my online cooking show :D.

In other news, I did find a new job. Its at a sub shop called "Jimmy Johns", and so far I like it. All the people there are friendly, the mood is relaxed and free, and its a really expressive place. Not sure about pay as we get our first check on friday, but hey, who knows, Its a hell of alot better then Mcdonalds any day. I do my job well and Im getting decent hours. Ive got about 24 hours per week, which is perfect for my school schedual. My last day at school this semester is on december 10th, so hopefully I can get shit done by then :P.

And for the bad:

Debt...yep.

Also, october was a rush month for my car. Not only did my insurance company cancel on me, but my job was winding down for the fall season and i had to find a new job. and while I did find one, I had about 3 weeks until i actually started it. So for all of october, I had to scrape and salvage every penny I had. It wasnt fun.

Dont ya hate it when you look at something interesting, only to see its being organized by someone you used to like, but then something happen between you in which it wasn't your fault and yet he hates you for it.....and he has more friends because of it? Yeah, that happened to me this morning >< A fur that I know organized a Central PA furry group and it bugs me because....well I dont know, it just does. I wanted to do something like this for a while, but Ive had alot of family and financial issues that I just couldn't organize it. Ugh, ill rant about it some other time.

Anyway yeah, got an essay due in an hour and Im nowhere near completeing it........so bye!

Yep.....I think that describes me a little bit :P

Seriously, why does life have to be stressful and frustrating? ><

Ive got 3 tests this week that I havnt studied at all for: My job test for my possible..POSSIBLE ... job at Jimmy john's sandwiches, My Programming fundementals 2 test, and i have a paper due tomarrow for my english comp class.

Also, let me just say this, I do not like my teacher in programming fundementals. I like the guy and he really is a nice person at all, but i think he just teaches us wrong. Instead of showing us how to actually program, he teaches us the "steps" of "trying" to program. For example, just this past week, we have to do make a program to calculate all the tests scores of a student and find his average and letter grade. Now, its an easy program to do, however he doesnt want us to write the program, he wants us to do the "figure out what the client wants" then "analyze the problem" then "figure out how  to write the program" etc etc. now, I wouldnt be complaining about it if it was a one time thing.....the problem is that HE DOES THIS EVERY FRICKEN DAY! So far, i have learned nothing about programming any lines of code from him, just the same "do this and that and this" shit. This is a retake course that I had to do because I had withdrawn from the college and i wanted to relearn some programming languages, not how to do buissness with a client and re-re-re-relearn how to actually write down the step making processes.

Ugh...but yeah, I really havnt been doing well in my discrete math class either, which is funny cause i usually really like math, but this is just torture. Its the only kind of math that goes in circles....yet still makes sense. For example : (A<B) and (B>C) therefore (B>A) and (C<B).

Another bad problem is my dad is back in the hospital.

A week ago, he had to go through chemotherapy for his Multiple Myloma, where he had cancer in his lower spine. Thankfully he got through it ok and is in recovery, however his immune system is down the toilet for a few days because of chemo. A few days after he was released, he was sent back to the hosptial for an infection, and has been there ever since. And since he has a weakened immune system, the infection could spread fast, and....possibly kill him.

Just alot of bad shit has happened...and is stressing me out. I am trying to find the good things in all of this, but every time i do, i find that that good tthing is being hit by another bad thing. I want to see my dad, but I cant afford the gas to see him there. Its halfway through the semester, but Midterms are coming up and im not prepared at all for it.ive got alot of free time, but that time could be done by getting money. FIgures i get some good things coming my way, only to be upset by this.

Anyway, I signed up for unemployment in case this sandwich making job doesnt work out....I just hope it does, I dont even have enough money to see kristy anymore.

Im seriously thinking about starting up a Film club at my school.

I go to harrisburg University, and in the university we have a multi-media room that pretty much is only used for 1 class. And the university really only has 4 clubs, and those are mainly for networking and buissness connections, nothing to really connect the students and make it feel like a cultural center or a an actual college. So, im gonna make a plan to create a film club in the school!

what im thinking is that the members will create a short movie from coming up with the script, to releasing it within 1 year. The students will have full access to the multi-media room and a camera paid for by the school. all the staff would be the club members; actors, director, behind the scenes staff, editors and even the artists who create the box and poster art.

I would think that the majority of students would enjoy the fact that they are working together to create something that they worked so hard.......I really want it to happen ^^

THe douchebag law......pretty self explanitory.

Basicly, if you act like a douchebag, everyone has the right to kick you in the groin.