Went to Canada, Had sort of fun, met up with Heidi, broke up with her, both sides fine with it, visited vanessa for her bday, left, came back home and slept. irritated that im working on my bday, most likely gonna call off cause i deserve to have at least one uncalled for day off, big test in computer class this tuesday, still havnt written my english essay due last week. Lifes a mess, trying to get it back again.

2 years i got him a larger tank for him to roam around in. However, even though i held him almost every day, he still was a little bastard. Always hissed when I came by and always didnt liked to be held. I always held him as gentle as I could and still loved him even though he seemed to hate me.

Just a few days ago, when i went in to feed him, I saw him in the corner, flat and not moving. So i tried and moved him, but his skin was cold and stale. He died.

He wasnt eating his normal batch of crickets every other day i fed him. and that got me worried, and to make matters worse, the day he died was the day before i was taking him to the vet. The only things I could guess was that he was overstressed about the move and winter comming in just pushed him to a point where he just overstressed and got sick.

I had photos of him, but unfortunetly, i couldnt find any at this time.

So just a few minutes ago, I buried him in my backyard, next to the flowerbed and facing north. So while i will say he wasnt the most friendly pet.....i loved him like he was my child.

Leon Brinkley

2004-2009

I miss you already.

Ive had it up to here with trying to get to gether with people.

My social Life has been like when the wii came out in 2006. You get all excited, planning months ahead and waiting to play with your wii (heh, sorry, needed some humor), and you get in the long long line, getting more enthusiastic with each step. and when you are only 3 people away, the store closes and everyone is forced to go home, because they dont have any more wiis.

Every time I try to get together with someone, and even plan it weeks ahead, it always gets canceled at the last minute, leaving me back home alone with a bottle of iced tea and an empty house.

Now, normaly I wouldnt bitch about this kind of stuff, but this has happened to me for the past 2 years, every time I wanted to see a friend or wanted them to hang out. Im usually always available, i help them out all the time and offer my services. WHY THE HELL DOESNT ANYONE JUST SAY "Hey, how are ya?" TO ME ONCE AND A FUCKING WHILE!?!?

I love you cracked.com :3

*walks in and flops onto the couch*

So....the past 2 weeks have been one hell of a time.

So if i didnt tell ya, I moved into a new place as the old place was getting sold by the landlord. So my mom and her bf moved in together, combining our families. This leaves us with 3 adults, 2 teeagers and 2 children. so as you can imagine, the house is already in dissarray. But dear god let me tell you about moving day.

The first day was one hell of a moving day. we got all the big heavy stuff from both houses out and into the 16 wheeler truck we rented. And lets just say parking it was no easy manner. its a 16 wheeled monstrosity, trying to park in the driveway of a thin narrow suburban road...it was a sight to see. My mom and her BF helped out getting some of the stuff into the truck, and dear god after 2 dressers and a freezer later, we were already dead tired. But thankfully the calvery arrived and my sister brought over her strong guy friends to help us out. 24 hours later, we are only halfway done with each house :/

So the second day comes and the truck is due back by 2PM, and all of us get up, eat breakfast at 9AM. So that leaves us with 5 hours to pack up all the leftovers of each house, which still included heavy items, and the boys cant come over, so its just me, my mom and her bf. We just BARLEY get it done by the time the truck is due, though we didnt get everything so we had to take 8 trips back and forth to get the rest of the stuff from both houses, in two diffrent cars.

THIRD day, we continue the 2 truck back and forth method, and we finnally get everything in the house and finish moving. Then came unpacking, but ill spare you the drama of "that was mine" or "you stole that from me".

I also started school the week before we moved. I decided to change my major to general studies because i just figured with all the hell thats been going on with school, me being kicked out with various reasons outside my control, i needed to just slow down and figure out what i really want to do for the rest of my life. So i have 2 classes, English 101 and Computer Basics. Computer Basics is a breeze, basicly its just "heres how a computer works, and here are the programs you will most likely use". English on the other hand is fucking awful T.T. The teacher is one of those "read from the book and we will talk about the book" teachers. He also doesnt try and actually teach us anything, he basicly reads from the book and tries to explain it :/ . I always hated english, but this guy put it to a new level.

Ive also decided by the end of this school year, im going to change schools back to Harrisburg university. HACC is just fucking awful and really really messed up :/ a good example, They JUST got my sister's Financial aid information, 6 weeks after we handed it in :/ yeah. At least at harrisburg U, all that stuff was taken care of pretty much as soon as I registered. Anyway, im planning to go back either next semester or the fall semester next year, depending on what happens.

So yeah, 2 weeks alter i finnally have internet connection and im releaved because most of the stuff in my computer basics class has to do with online stuff. Anyways, im glad to be back and ill be chatting with all of you soon enough :3

*gives you all motherfucking snuggles*

The past few days ive been feeling awful, both mentally and physically.
 

Ive felt really weak and dizzy ever since 2 days ago. Before work, i felt my knee start to hurt, which is usual so i took some asprin. after that, i just felt really really tired, a bit dizzy and just couldnt think straight. Now, keep in mind, the knee pain was minor, so i only took 2 pills which is the recommended dose. In fact, the night before, I couldnt get to sleep because i was too tired to even sleep. Hell, I could barely move my legs and arms because it felt like they weighed 100 lbs each. i was able to at least get a full night's sleep tonight, but i still felt shitty as soon as i stood up. I did get something to eat and im feeling a bit better, but still not100%.

Mentally, Still the usual, so nothing to report there :/

Murphy's law- Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong

That pretty much describes my whole day :/

Woke up in a really shitty mood.

Sunburn from yesterday hurt like hell and didnt have any aloe, nor had any money to get any.

Broke down in tears at all the bills I have to pay and no money to pay them.

Thought I worked at 5:30, actually worked at 4 and got a thrasshing from the boss.

Spilled and entire packet of mustard all over my pants.

Dropped alot of sandwiches

had to wait half of my break for the manager to come up for a fucking discount.

and bill collectors kept calling me all fucking day.

I really just want today to be fine and left alone.

I just dont know how to introduce myself to people.

A good example is the furmeet yesterday. There were alot of people that I really wanted to introduce myself to. perticularly this one girl that i wanted to get to know a little more. However, pretty much past the "hi im _____" i just dont know what to say. Pretty much after a small chit chat of "yeah, i met 'so and so' through 'a website'" my mind just goes blank as to what to say next.

Either that or they just kinda leave :/

Yeah, i definetly needed this day. After all the shti thats been happening to me in the past 3 months, I needed a day like today to remind me that there is some good left in this world.

We (my friend alex and I) were  a bit late going in due to us getting lost on trying to find the dam picnic ^^; but we got there just in time for the food to be served :3 We met up with a few furries, ate, drank and became marry.

After that we went to the pool. I forgot my swim trunks so I just went in with my shorts :p. We had a good time, just swimming around and just chatting with eachother.

Afterwards we went to tokyo diner and had an awesome dinner :3

Overall, I loved this XD I need to do it more often.

Ok, so my date is tomarrow and im excited about it. I like this girl, shes been my friend for years now, and shes relatively attractive. However, there have been some details I forgot about.

The main one being that if we do decide to go steady, what time would we have to spend together? Usually every weekend im busy with work because they give me such fucked up hours so I cant meet up with anyone. And Monday through thursday I have school in the mornings and lunchtime, but usually after that I have some free time. Now all this would be fine, except for 1 thing. Her schedual is all over the fucking place. Pretty much, she has 2 "homes" one is with her parents every other day, and the other is in Kutztown, an hour drive away. so pretty much, every monday, wednesday and friday is all we can spend time with eachother. and even then, I dont know what her schedual is like during said days. Usually, fridays I work, so we couldnt meet up then. and with mondays and wednesdays, well..I dont know.

All I know is that she works 2 jobs as well. One at an art store in Kutztown, and the other in Camp hill with a babysitting job. Once again, I dont know her hours and I really dont want to push her into seeing me. But at the same time, I want someone who will be available for me when I need them the most. And when school starts back up, its gonna be all hell cause shes gonna be in school pretty much 24/7 for 3 months. It just seems like like even if shes the right one, shes gonna be away all the fucking time. Story of my life huh? :/

so most likely, ill ask her when the next time we could see eachother again, and what her schedual is like. Other then that, I dont know what to do.

oh, and i find this kind of strange. I did ask if she wanted to come over and have dinner then watch a movie around 6. Seems good, perfect. However, she asked if we could just go see a movie at 430. it just seems wierd to me that she would only want that because I do want to have a full date with her. Maybe its just her schedualing or something.

uggg.....For the past month or so, ive been feeling really shitty when the night comes.

during the day, most of the time im fine if I keep myself busy. usually I just go along with my day and just do my chores and such. But when night comes, I just feel awful.

Lonelyness just comes settling in, and it just makes me so damn depressed. Even when im with friends I just feel so shitty, that i usualy just sit in the corner. Sometimes I just feel so bad, that I just kinda shut myself out from the rest of the world.

I know its not healthy to do this kind of stuff....but when your in a town with absolutely nothing to do, friends are hours away, very limited money, and have no relationship, it just really gets to you.

Im trying to change, and im trying to find someone, but its just hard and its gonna take a while. I swear, sometimes shit just keeps covering me every time I try to find happyness.

Ive sheltered him, protected him and fed him for the past 4 months. and all I get in return is insults to my friends, hobbies, and myself. I am done, I am so fucking done with him.

Ive had one fucking horrible week, and this is just the final fucking straw. Ive realized that he was the cause of all of this. Ive had to spend money on getting HIM food, getting HIM to work and getting HIM comfortable. Ive done everything i can to make him happy, but i get backsassed everytime I want something from him. Well heres a big fuck you to him.